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A stunted imagination
Examining the gap between belief and action in the ministry of racial healing
By Megan Lietz, Director, Race & Christian Community Initiative (RCCI)
I remember feeling a call to the ministry for as long as I can remember.
And yet, whenever I imagined a minister speaking or preaching, I would always imagine a man. Even when I imagined my own future, I would see a man with a mic in his hand.
I have a deeply held belief in God’s calling on my life, but my imagination was limited by the examples I saw around me. Though I grew up in a denomination that affirmed the ordination of women, I have no memories of seeing women in up-front, senior, or full-time ministry roles when I was a kid. It wasn’t because women were absent from these roles, but because the dominant pattern was emblazoned in my mind and limiting my imagination.
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I, and many white people, encounter a similar problem when addressing issues related to race. We default to the examples we see around us and to our socialization, forces that can trump even deeply and explicitly held beliefs. It can lead us to take actions that can look good, be affirmed by others, and be in alignment with the examples around us — and still uphold the unequal power dynamics that oppose the reconciliation made possible through the cross. It’s important that white people committed to racial healing examine our actions to see if they function in ways that nurture the healing work of Christ.
“Just because we believe something doesn’t mean we are living it out.”
Just because we believe something doesn’t mean we are living it out. We can have a strong ideological commitment without corresponding actions. This disparity can be seen in how I collaborated across racial lines in the early years of the Race & Christian Community Initiative’s ministry at the Emmanuel Gospel Center.
If you had asked me about my philosophy for multiracial leadership, I would have talked about servant leadership, collaboration, and the importance of following the lead of people of color. These were the approaches I had written about in my seminary papers, that I tried to follow in ministry, and that I believe I practiced when I served on staff at a Black church for five years, submitting myself to Black leadership.
But when it became my turn to lead, my turn to steward my own ministry, I found myself defaulting to the power dynamics and practices I’ve been socialized in. In almost every example of white leadership I had seen, white folks were in control. So, when I led, I upheld the racial status quo without intending it.
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What is worse is, I did so without noticing it. I did so while feeling normal, praiseworthy, and good. The truth was I was operating in ignorance and self-deception.
One factor contributing to this is that it seemed like I was doing all the right things. When coordinating multiracial events, I brought people of color into the process early on. I collaborated. I invited their perspective. On the surface, it looked good. But the ministry still centered my ideas, left me as the ultimate decision-maker, and kept me in control. It reflected many of my internalized beliefs of what a leader was, but not the upside-down power dynamics of the kingdom.
Ironically, I had wanted to share power. I was trying to do so the best way I knew how. But good intentions were not enough to turn the tide of a lifestyle of socialization. I lacked the examples, imagination, and mindfulness needed for transformation.
My defaults shaped my actions more than the vision of Jesus Christ.
“As Christians, it’s not just about what we confess with our mouths but what we confess in our actions. ”
As Christians, it’s not just about what we confess with our mouths but what we confess in our actions. We must ask ourselves, “Are our actions being influenced more by our socialization or by the example of Jesus?”
If we don’t examine ourselves, the dominant culture will be our default.
We must ask this question of ourselves, the Lord, and our communities. We must get feedback, reflect, and expose ourselves to different examples that can help expand our imaginations. In doing so, we open ourselves to God’s transformation and ongoing alignment with him.
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At RCCI, our reflection is bearing fruit. We’re making a shift to better align our beliefs with our actions. We will no longer initiate multiracial events because we think it’s a good idea, maintain control over the process, or come to Black, Indigenous and people of color (BIPOC) with our ideas in hand. Instead, we’ll follow the initiation and vision casting of BIPOC folks for RCCI events or support the equity-building work they are already doing in our communities.
I’m glad to be able to share how I came to see the gap between my beliefs and actions. But seeing the discrepancy is only the beginning. It takes work not only to see but also to be mindful of something and to see how it continues to show up in our actions. It takes intentionality, support, and community input. It takes commitment to work at it — and to keep working at it. It takes the revelation and grace of God.
I’m excited for what it will look like for RCCI to further develop partnerships with and accountability to people of color. We’re working it out. But we’re committed to figuring it out. We are seeking the Lord and trusting that, through the process, the Lord who revealed our need for alignment will help us align ourselves with him. As we open ourselves to God’s transformative work, we pray that he will teach us to challenge the status quo, expand our imagination, and more fully and freely follow him.
May it be so with us and in the body. Amen and amen.
