Learning As We Go: A Messy Methodology Nurtured Transformation
A new way of thinking helped launch me into ministry. It also changed me in the process.
by Megan Lietz, Director, Race & Christian Community Initiative (RCCI)
This is the first article of a three-part series on key lessons RCCI is learning in its first five years of ministry. RCCI focuses on providing biblically based education to white evangelicals to nurture racial healing and justice.
I'm a planner. Every strength-based test I've taken affirms that I'm good at developing a plan, sticking to it, and getting it done. My approach to launching the Race & Christian Community Initiative reflected this skill set.
I reviewed the six-page document containing the plans to launch RCCI at the Emmanuel Gospel Center. It involved a year of research, ministry development, fundraising and relationship building that emphasized gaining understanding before taking action and underestimated how dynamic reality is.
I remember my supervisor, Stacie Mickelson, saying in essence: "That's one way you could do it, but I don't recommend it. I encourage you to start taking action now and learn as you go."
When Stacie first said this, I was a bit confused. Had she not seen my well-thought-out plan?
But more than confusion, I felt unprepared.
How could I be ready without taking the time for extensive research? Did all the degrees I had earned not testify to the need to learn before taking action in the world? Besides, I'm a white woman. I have a good chance of getting it wrong here. I want to put in the work so I can learn to effectively engage issues related to race.
“The names of the euro-descended anti-racist warriors we remember – John Brown, Anne Braden, Myles Horton – are not those of people who did it right. They are of people who never gave up. They kept their eyes on the prize – not on their anti-racism grade point average.
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Nika Elugardo, the director of EGC’s Applied Research and Consulting department at the time, offered some wisdom I still carry with me. She said: “Megan, you don’t need to know it all. You just need to know enough to be ahead of the people you’re leading. When you are, you’re positioned to reach back and help them take the next step.”
The perspectives of my supervisors opened and invited me to a different way of learning. Instead of waiting until we "feel ready" and following the "perfect plan," RCCI now commits to learn as we go. In the process, we are transformed.
Five years into ministry, I've encountered many white brothers and sisters stuck at the same point I was: not feeling “ready” for action when, in reality, if we all waited until we “felt ready,” action would never come. I now want to reach back, offer some things I've realized about "learning as I go," and encourage them to take the next step.
Learning as you go is uncomfortable and requires risk-taking
Learning as you go — as a real-life practice — is messy and requires risk-taking. Perhaps that's why I, as a calculated planner, took some time to warm up to the idea. Or why I, as someone who wants to "get things right," avoided an approach that increased the chance of failure.
It's also not comfortable. And at first, it doesn't increase your confidence to navigate the world effectively. On the contrary, as I’ve waded into the messiness of multi-racial ministry, I’ve often felt out of control or like I don’t have a clear path ahead. I’ve felt vulnerable, frustrated, anxious, unsure, and insecure. Furthermore, this can make me want to “fix,” micromanage, or distance myself from the problem. But these reactions can be counterproductive. Learning to wrestle with the mess, sit with discomfort, take risks, and figure it out as you go are not only healthier responses, but also formative. They can help us develop the postures, perseverance, and skill sets needed to navigate the realities of race.
That said, I want to be clear that diving in as a white person is both necessary and problematic. The hard truth is that we will inevitably make mistakes and hurt people of color. In my 15 years of living across racial lines and five years leading a ministry seeking to contribute to the dismantling of racism, I’ve upset, offended, annoyed, and dishonored people of color. And it hasn’t come through things that felt like “obvious” mistakes. It has happened through moments of carelessness, oversights, blindspots, defaults. Moments when I never intended to hurt anybody. Moments when, sometimes, I didn’t even know I did.
I’ve messed up. And others – usually brave and generous people of color – were kind enough to let me know. I’ve perpetuated the very practices, narratives and ways of being I profess to stand against. I did that. And you will, too. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take action. On the contrary, we need to learn from our mistakes, learn to repair and address the pain we have caused, and keep working toward the dismantling of racism.
Ricardo Levins Morales, a Puerto Rican artist and activist, shared:
“Anti-racist whites invest too much energy worrying about getting it right; about not slipping up and revealing their racial socialization; about saying the right things and knowing when to say nothing. It’s not about that. It’s about putting your shoulder to the wheel of history; about undermining the structural supports of a system of control that grinds us under, that keeps us divided even against ourselves and that extracts wealth, power and life from our communities like an oil company sucks it from the earth. … The names of the euro-descended anti-racist warriors we remember – John Brown, Anne Braden, Myles Horton – are not those of people who did it right. They are of people who never gave up. They kept their eyes on the prize – not on their anti-racism grade point average. … This will also be the measure of your work. … There are things in life we don’t get to do right. But we do get to do them.”¹
I encourage you to dive in. But be thoughtful about where and how you dive in. Be mindful of the potential consequences and be ready to slow down, confess, repent, and make things right.
Creative Clicks Photography via Lightstock.
Learning as you go contributes to quicker learning
When Stacie and Nika encouraged me to take a risk and learn as I go, they weren’t only helping me learn to do differently, they were actually helping me learn more efficiently. Trying and learning through experience helped me refine my ideas with my feet. It was more efficient to come up with a plan and test it along the way than to polish one before trying it.
As someone who had been conditioned to go for the "A" right out the gate, it took some time to get used to this new approach. But I found it invaluable. Not only did I learn a lot on the way, but I got a lot farther piloting my ideas than I would have if I had "perfected" them on paper. What I once saw as glorious plans now feel like a taxidermied butterfly. They look pretty but they don't fly.
One example of how this methodology bore fruit was with RCCI's cohort community. When I started the first cohort, I wasn't planning to launch a program. I just wrote a blog post and invited white people to talk about race. Little did I know God had been preparing people long before they responded to my blog post. He had placed within them a longing to wrestle with issues related to race in Christian community. Seeing this longing and how it aligned with my own, I jumped in. I didn't feel prepared and I certainly didn't know how to start a program. But we had the Holy Spirit's guidance and my supervisors' support. We also had the resources found within our inaugural community. And so this fledgling group grew into our first cohort.
What started with a handful of people has since evolved into our core program. It’s contributed to action taking and inspired testimonies of transformation. (To learn more, you can read RCCI's Cohort Origin Story here.)
While piloting the cohorts, I learned much about leadership, picked up different tools and practices, and developed meaningful relationships. Ultimately, I was launched into ministry. Though we didn’t have the big team or resources that are often associated with growth, our willingness to "try fast, fail fast, and learn fast" helped us go far.
This experience can be captured well in a quote by sociologist, historian, and author, James Loewen: "If we wait until we are ready … we may wind up old and feeble before we ever do anything. Conversely, getting out there and trying to change society can teach us some things and wind up changing ourselves."²
Learning as you go creates opportunity for collaboration
Learning as I go helped me lean into community. To be honest, I'm a bit of a lone ranger. I need a loving nudge to overcome my natural tendencies that are in tension with my Christian ideals. While "not knowing the answers" and not feeling ready could be seen as a setback, these same feelings developed a healthy fear and open posture in me. This approach nurtured collaboration and propelled me ahead.
When I first launched the cohort, I felt I was operating out of a place of weakness. I was a mother of a demanding 1-year-old, who had me up early in the morning and wanting to go to bed by 8 p.m. Leading cohorts from seven to nine left me in a situation where it was hard to give my best. During cohort conversations some nights, my tired mind would struggle to be attentive. As the facilitator, sometimes I wouldn't know what to do next. It was in those moments of feeling my own limitations — and perhaps because of them — that space was created for others to jump in. They could take the lead. They could share experiences or offer resources that may have gone unshared. They could voice questions that may have gone unasked.
What started as collaboration out of necessity became an intentional approach for RCCI. I valued collaboration in principle, of course. I spent significant time listening to and learning from leaders of color before piloting anything. But feeling my own limitations — and remembering that God didn’t design us to do this alone — helped me cement collaboration into RCCI's practice.
For example, after the first cohort, we worked with alumni to envision and try out a "next step" that would eventually become our support and accountability groups. When we piloted our multiracial workshops and community forums, we invited people of color to speak into the process and co-lead early on. While we were still learning how to collaborate well, we were committed to collaboration — and continue to learn how to do so today.
The "learn as you go approach" encouraged a practice of learning with others. Both of these are now part of RCCI’s DNA today.
Mari Yamagiwa via Lightstock.
Learning as go you nurtures liberation
One of the hardest aspects of embracing agile methodology was that it challenged — no, more than challenged — it required the sacrifice of my perfectionist tendencies.
Perfectionism is something people of all races struggle with for several reasons. But it's also something that can — and has — been used to uphold racial hierarchy.
Taking an approach that required me to address my perfectionism served another purpose: it was a means through which the Lord could continue to liberate me from one of the ways the sin of racism can operate in my life.
Taking a learn-as-you-go approach to ministry helps me not only let go of some of my perfectionism. I'm also learning to let go of control.White folks, especially, are accustomed to having more agency because of our white privilege. We can have unhealthy expectations around power because of how our racial group is dominant and centered in society. We expect power, feel entitled to it, think it is something we need.
But white people are not the Creator. God did not intend for us to have control over and above other human beings. We are all created in God's image and commanded to have dominion over the earth (Gen. 1:27-28) — a dominion of stewardship, caring, and mutual thriving so that God's shalom may reign on earth.
I know this in my head, but the desire to be perfect and the desire to control are very human tendencies.
Taking a "learn as you go" approach is working this out of me. It's been a tool of Christ’s sanctification, liberation, and healing.
The practices and postures of "learning as you go" help nurture liberation. It gets us to re-examine and release the ways we've been conditioned and open ourselves to the Lord. It helps align us with his will so that we can more fully and freely follow Jesus in a multiracial world.
“If we wait until we are ready … we may wind up old and feeble before we ever do anything. Conversely, getting out there and trying to change society can teach us some things and wind up changing ourselves.”
When Nika and Stacie encouraged me to jump in, I didn't expect to be holding on to their advice five years later. Their invitation felt like a risk — and it was — but it was one I've found well worth the reward. It's a reward not of security or ease but of Christ-like transformation.
And today, I'm still on that journey of transformation. Each step of the way, God has shown me grace.
Shelton, a member of RCCI's inaugural cohort, recently shared with me about our early years. She said: "Megan, I didn't follow you because I thought you had all the answers. I followed you because you knew you didn't. Because you were willing to journey in community and learn as you go."
Especially with Boston being a hub for education, we are often valued for what we know. But the deeper I get into Christ’s work of healing and justice, the more I realize I don’t know.
This not knowing doesn’t need to be a barrier. On the contrary, it can be a catalyst for transformation, collaboration, and liberation. If we come with a teachable spirit and humble posture, we can find a gift in uncertainty and be changed by a commitment to learning as we go.
Reflection Questions
How might these principles for learning relate or not relate with your own experience?
When might you have received challenging feedback? How have other people’s perspectives helped you to grow?
Where might you be leaning too heavily on your ability to plan, prepare, or control?
What is one area the Lord may be inviting you to “dive into” even if you don’t feel ready?
In that area, what could the dangers and benefits be of you taking a “learn as you go” approach?
¹Ricardo Levins Morales, "Whites fighting racism: what it’s about," Ricardo Levins Morales Art Studio, January 7, 2015, https://rlmartstudio.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/whites-fighting-racism-what-its-about/.
²James W. Loewen, "The Joy of Antiracism," in Everyday White People Confront Racism & Social Injustice: 15 Stories, ed. Eddie Moore Jr., Marguerite W. Penick-Parks, and Ali Michael (Sterling, VA: Stylus Publishing LLC, 2015), 31.
