Leading By Letting Go: Skills in Courageous Leadership for Healthy Collaborations

Leading By Letting Go: Skills in Courageous Leadership for Healthy Collaborations

By the Woven Team

At Woven, Christian women leaders gather to encourage and consult one another. For this year’s consultation, we focused on igniting local collective-action movements. Morning plenary sessions gave practical tools and best practices for effective collaboration and movement building. In the afternoon, women participated in one of two workshops, where they advised local networks focused on social justice and church unity. This blog celebrates the leadership growth we observed from that gathering.

Godly leadership is not about taking control on behalf of God—it’s about taking the lead in making room for God. Knowing how to make space for the movement of God is especially true in collaborative situations.

When we work for a collaborative mission—without seeking individual accolades—Jesus moves freely. And when Jesus moves freely, God’s design for the Church comes alive.

As the women engaged at Woven, they showed courage and growth in collaborative leadership. Here we celebrate that growth and share it with you for your reflection and action in your spheres of influence.

GROWTH AREAS FOR Christian LEADERSHIP IN COLLABORATIONS

Growth Area #1: Surrendering the Mission Back to God

Once you enter a collaborative situation, prepare to lay down what you think is “the mission” on the altar of trust in God’s wisdom. While God may call you to pick it back up, allow yourself time to hear from God—maybe through others—about God’s assignment and priorities.

Unity is not inviting or bringing people along towards your mission statement. Our own mission statement is not the whole of God’s mission within a collaboration.

“Unity is not inviting or bringing people along towards your mission statement.”

Instead, as we put ourselves into a broader array of work God is doing, we piece together all the missions, like a stained-glass window.  Our mission is just one broken piece of glass that God fits with others. If you’re in a leadership role within the collaboration, prepare to facilitate discovery and clarification of a shared mission.

In past years, we designed the Woven consultation day to invite women to discuss their own leadership challenges and supports. This year we decided to focus on building skills for collaboration. We designed a time that would challenge the women to apply the values described here.

Towards that end, we designed workshops that would require the women to lay aside their expectations and agendas to work together towards a concrete goal, in this case, building movements for social justice and Christian unity. We are grateful to the women for their flexibility.        

Growth Area #2: Letting Go of Control

As you step into a community of people who are thinking differently, prepare to experience a new level of trust in God.

Letting others change your perspective is uncomfortable. But as women who have let go of needing to be the one with all the answers know, this openness is critical to engaging in unity work.

In the social justice workshop, one Woven team member was taking whiteboard notes while a group of women was refining language for a discussion question. She noticed that women were using the word “difference” in unexpected ways. Seeking further clarity, she started asking clarifying questions about what the women meant by “difference” and advocated for a specific definition. In doing so, she confused some people and distracted the group from brainstorming ideas. On later reflection, she realized that she needed to set aside her need for precision in order just to listen and capture what the women were saying.

As you listen, try not to “correct” others' thoughts. Instead, focus on gaining perspective. This different focus sometimes requires laying aside how you think a conversation or activity should go.    

Growth Area #3: Sharing Resources

Sacrificial giving is critical to collaboration. If you offer your resources into God’s hands, you might receive them back from the woman next to you, who is giving up her stuff for you. Or you might be the one giving up things for her benefit.

Everyone in a collaboration needs to come into a sharing posture. One participant describes, “Coming in, I didn't realize I'd be engaged in consultancy.  So I had to shift from ‘What do I get out of this immediately?’ to a ‘How do I serve/give?’ mindset and trust that my purpose for being here will be revealed—maybe even after today.”

“Everyone in a collaboration needs to come into a sharing posture.”

By laying aside her agenda, this woman gave herself as a resource. She decided to share her focus, her listening ear, and her expertise as a gift to the workshop group.

Growth Area #4: Role Shifting

Be prepared that you may need to play a different role than the one you are accustomed to. When entering a collaboration, ask God to remind you what has served you in the past, and what has proved useful others. He’ll guide you to the best ways to lead and collaborate in the present situation.

All the Woven participants are experienced leaders, serving in leadership roles in their homes, churches, and organizations. But in the workshop times, many women saw the need to take a follower posture, playing a supportive role—sometimes even for a topic in which they are accomplished experts.

One woman notes, “I did need to continually remind myself of the different places that people were coming from to have this discussion.” In seeing this diversity, she was able to adjust her participation to what the larger group needed.

Growth Area #5: Admitting Failure & Celebrating Success

“Don’t wait for an “end” to celebrate!”

Collaboration doesn’t happen overnight without setbacks or missteps. Learning together requires honest evaluation and continual reflection. Admitting failure builds trust and transparency—prerequisites for genuine cooperation.

Conversely, celebrating successes as we realize them is foundational. Collaboration is a journey, not a destination. Don’t wait for an “end” to celebrate!

When you observe others sharing themselves generously or with bravery, call it out and praise it. When the group pushes through obstacles or engages in hard conversations, celebrate that dedication together.

Woven participants give day-end feedback surveys, and many also seek out team members to share their input in person. We’re grateful that women let us know what tools worked and which felt bulky or distracting. They shared how we could have fine-tuned our facilitation. We welcome and celebrate this feedback. How could any of us improve without honest evaluation?

We see Woven as successful, not because it is flawless, but because it’s an adaptive space that grows based on feedback. We’re honored to support a space where women can come and share as they are, learning and growing together.

One participant shared, “It is not easy for me to share my opinions/thoughts in other circles because of traditions, etc. I tend to be shy anyway. Woven is a place that I felt welcome to speak up. More than that, Boston needs women working towards transformation in all spheres, and Woven encourages me and others.”

The Woven Team 

(Left to Right) Liza Cagua-Koo, EGC Assistant Director, facilitated the social justice workshop. Jess Mason, EGC Supervising Editor, took notes. Nika Elugardo, EGC Leadership Systems Architect, led a plenary session and facilitated the unity workshop. Stacie Mickelson, EGC Director of Applied Research & Consulting, facilitated the consultation day.

2016 WOVEN CONSULTATION [Photojournal]

WOVEN CONSULTATION

March 5th, 2016

By WOVEN

WOVEN CONSULTATION 2016

- A gathering of Christian women: leaders in the home, church, workplace, and community.
- A space to share stories, foster relationships, and develop strategies for overcoming obstacles.
- Dependent on prayer, permeated by fellowship, and yielding a practical response to equip churches to better support women.

SEEKING WHOLENESS

Though drawn together for assorted reasons, the women who gathered shared a common commitment to Christ and a desire for wholeness. Whether they admitted to feeling overwhelmingly busy or being satisfied with their pace of life, all knew well the struggle of maintaining balance through life’s changing seasons.

WELCOMING DIVERSITY

Beauty arose from their shared desire to grow as women of God as well as from their dynamic diversity. The Consultation welcomed 104 women from all generations, 59 occupations, 53 churches, and 45 Christian ministries throughout Greater Boston. Their racial diversity reflected the people of the city. Women who were differently abled were well served. The babies of young mothers joined in and children played nearby under watchful care.

“I like the fact that the leaders are helping to create safe spaces for women. I love the diversity!”

“Refreshing to be with women across denominational lines.”

“So nice to network with others outside my church walls.”

“I could see that people with varying abilities were welcomed and had a part to play.”

“Connecting with a diverse group of women is necessary to move forward towards all justice issues.”

HERE'S MY STORY

Five women shared stories from the front of the room that explored their pursuit of balance: What is it? What are the obstacles? What resources are there for realizing balance? How do we move ahead? As stories were told and hearts were opened, women found comfort in shared experiences, support in their journey, and inspiration to take the next step toward wholeness in Christ. 

“I want to know more from women I wouldn’t typically gather with on a regular basis to expand my horizons. This is a big world and we serve a BIG GREAT God who is the master of it all. There is a reason why we are all here together. We need to stop isolating ourselves!”

“I loved that people were willing to share their lives and struggles and there was no judgement, only others willing to hold each other up.”

REFLECTION AND PRAYER

After each story, the women entered into quiet times of personal reflection, active table discussion, and interactive text polling. Women were moved to pray for each another, admonish each other, and offer loving support. 

“Meeting other women in ministry who love the Lord was a highlight and it was helpful to draw out concerns I probably wouldn’t address otherwise.”

“Being a part of a larger community facing similar issues is very empowering.”

IMAGINING SOLUTIONS, DEVELOPING STRATEGIES

Moved to address the obstacles to balance and wholeness which they exposed and identified, the women worked together, shared resources, and collectively imagined how these obstacles could be overcome. Principles and guidelines gleaned from the wisdom and practical advice shared around each table will be passed on to churches in Greater Boston so they can better support Christian women in leadership.

EXPERIENCING GROWTH

At the day’s end, each woman left with something new, changed by what the Lord had done through this time in community. Some summarized their experience with words like “empowered” and “encouraged.” Hope came with many faces: renewed relationships, fresh strategies, and personal support in the seasons to come. The Consultation staff looks forward to supporting and equipping women leaders as they move forward in grace and see God’s work blossom and grow.

“The Woven Consultation helped to empower me in my walk with Christ even more and also in my calling. I further enjoyed the connections and relatable stories shared.”

“God really spoke to me, challenged me, provoked me and reassured me. I met new people.”

“I am going away more alive and empowered about living authentically before the Lord and others.”

The Woven Consultation is a project of the Applied Research and Consulting Department at Emmanuel Gospel Center.

The Unsolved Leadership Challenge

The Unsolved Leadership Challenge

AIM OF THIS STUDY

In this study of new church development in Greater Boston, we identified at least 95 new congregations which have started in the last seven years. Forty-six were within the city limits of Boston. We completed 41 in-depth interviews with church planters who represented several different denominations, ethnic groups, and networks. The research yielded general information about the church planters and the new churches, with a special focus on women in leadership. The hope is that this study can become a source of “mainstreaming” gender parity discourse within the church, as part of an overall discussion of the practical needs of church planters in the areas of leadership and ministry development

A Report on the 2014 Woven Consultation Day for Christian Women Leaders

Why a Consultation Day

Christian churches believe that all people, regardless of race, ethnicity or gender, are created in the image of God. Yet, often the Church falls short of honoring that image. Anecdotal and statistical evidence shows that women face disproportionate levels of violence, discrimination and challenge at least as much in churches as out.